Does it really ever live up to your expectations? To be honest, I don't even know what those expectations are, but I do know that I never feel more appreciated today than any other day. And, I don't feel all that appreciated regularly. I spend every second of everyday, being a mom and a wife. There is no down time for me. There is no job that is mine outside of this house. Probably my own fault, but there isn't even a hobby that is solely mine. I am sure that I am looking to other people for validation in this area and, as most mother's know, this job never comes with enough validation to make you feel confident. I want someone to say, "You are an amazing mother and what you are doing is not just good enough, but it is good." Not that I would believe them anyway, but it would be nice, wouldn't it?
There are days that I wish my life had taken a different path and that I had the professional success that I envy at times in other women. There are days I wonder how in the hell we are all going to get out alive. But, most of the days, I couldn't begin to imagine what my life would look like without my kids. They have given me such a lesson in what matters and I don't think I would be so sure of that without them. They are innocent in their thoughts and their needs and it makes me fear the world that is in their future. But, it also makes me try that much harder to make it a better place and make them the type of people that will do that too. They are beautiful. They are funny. They are everything. I love my kids so much, and while I am sure that today will never have that "ahh-ha" feeling that I am sort of searching for, I am thankful that today gives me a chance to reflect on the crazy, messy, amazing family I am roaming through life with.
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